Bye Bye Mr Wesker Guy
by Wesker Chick
Summary: A one shot song parody as sung by the Surviving members of S.T.A.R.S.


DISCLAIMER: Don't own RE, Weird Al Yankovic's, or Don McClain.

A/N: This is my first song parody. It's based off of both Weird Al's "Episode I" song and Don McClain's "Bye Bye Miss American Pie" So please bear with me. Also you will notice that it is a sorta Music Video type deal.

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"Bye Bye Mr. Wesker Guy" as sung by the surviving S.T.A.R.S. members.

[The lights come up and show Chris Redfield standing in front of a microphone. Rebecca is on piano. Brad and Barry are on guitar. Jill appears to be the backup singer. They are standing in front of a mock up of the R.P.D.]

(Chris)

A LONG LONG TIME AGO IN A CITY FAR AWAY

THE CITIZENS WERE UNDER AN ATTACK…

[Zombies run around eating the extras]

AND I THOUGHT ME AND MY S.TA.R.S. BUDS

COULD MAYBE MAKE THEM ZOMBIES CEASE THEIR ATTACK

[the band pull out guns and shoot the zombies]

BUT THE IDEA WAS REALLY BAD

THE BRAVO CHOPPER CRASHED

AND BRAD LEFT US TO DIE

[shows Brad looking rather sheepish]

BUT WE ESCAPED TO THE MANSION

WHERE WE SPLIT UP IN TRUE HERO FASHION

[flashback to Chris and Jill splitting up to investigate the mansion]

WE SOLVED PUZZLES

[Chris solving the Death Mask puzzle]

AND ZOMBIES WE SHOT

[Jill blows away like six zombies with a shot gun]

WE ALL WOUND UP AT THE SECRET LABS

[shows Chris, Jill, and Barry in the labs]

THAT'S WHRE WE FOUND OUR CAPTAIN

[shows Wesker looking particularly evil]

(Chris and Jill)

OH BYE BYE MR. WESKER GUY

FLEW MY CHOPPER TO THE MANSION

BUT THE MANSION WAS FRIED

[shows the Spencer Mansion turned to rubble]

THAT TYRANT WAS DRINKING T-VIRUS AND SINGING

(Jill)

THIS'LL BE THE DAY WESKER HAS TO DIE!

THIS'LL BE THE DAY WESKER HAS TO DIE!

[The tyrant smiles and then impales Wesker]

(Chris)

DID YOU KNOW THIS CAPTAIN WAS AN EVIL BASTARD?

DID YOU SEE HIM STEALING TYRANT DATA?

[Wesker is sneaking around the labs, chucking virus data into a big black bag]

EVEN THOUGH HE'S SUPPOSED TO WORK FOR UMBRELLA

[Wesker holds up an _I love Umbrella _sign]

YA HE'S PROBALBY GONNA DOUBLE CROSS THEM TOO

I'VE HEARD HE WORKS FOR HCF NOW

[Wesker flips his sign around showing everyone the following message _Umbrella Sucks!!_]

AND YOU SHOULD SEE HIS NIFTY NEW SUNGLASSES TOO

AND WERE SCREWED IT'S TRUE

CAUSE WESKER SET THE WHOLE THING UP

AND AS SOON AS HE SHOVED THAT BERETTA IN MY FACE

[Wesker runs up to the band and shoves a gun in Chris' face, taunting him]

I KNEW WE WERE %&#$

OH YES WE WERE IN TROUBLE NOW

(Chris/Jill)

AND WE WERE SINGING

OH BYE BYE MR. WESKER GUY

RODE THE ELVATOR TO THE LABS

BUT THE LABS WERE FRIED

[shows the remains of the labs from RE2]

THAT BIRKIN MONSTER WAS DRINKING G-VIRUS AND SINGING

(Jill)

WHY DID WESKER HAVE TO DIE!?

WHY DID WESKER HAVE TO DIE!?

[Birkin appears to be crying]

(Chris)

NOW WE FINALLY MANAGED TO ESCAPE THE MANSION

THE R.P.D. WE KNEW WOULD WANT TO KNOW THE DETAILS

SO WE WENT TO IRONS AND TOLD OUR STORY

[all the surviving S.T.A.R.S. members are in Irons office, all talking at once]

ABOUT THE ZOMBIES AND HUNTERS AND WESKER'S BETRAYEL

BUT IRONS WAS ON THE UMBRELLA PAYROLL

AND OUR STORY HE DENIED

[Irons calls them all idiots all the while wearing a pin that says _Help Cut Down on Overpopulation…SUPPORT UMBRELLA INC.!_]

SO I SAID "WELL KISS MY BOOTY!! UMBRELLA I WILL DESTROY"

(Chris/Jill)

AND WE WERE SINGING

BYE BYE MR. WESKER GUY

DROVE THE TROLLEY TO THE CLOCK TOWER

BUT THE CLOCK TOWER WAS FRIED

[shows the destroyed trolley and half destroyed clock tower]

THAT NEMESIS WAS DRINKING T-VIRUS AND SINGING

(Jill)

WHY DID WESKER HAVE TO DIE!?

WHY DID WESKER HAVE TO DIE!?

[Nemesis is crying too]

(Chris)

WE ESCAPED RACCOON JUST BEFORE THE ZOMBIES

I WANTED TO TAKE JILL AS WELL

BUT SHE REFUSED

[Jill flips Chris off, and walks back to her apartment]

WE ARE HIDING FROM UMBRELLA NOW

[Chris and everyone else is in a small room, huddled around a candle]

RACCOON WAS DESTROYED

[cut to a badly done miniature of Raccoon City being incinerated. The R.P.D mock up behind the band is now on fire]

JILL PICKED HERSELF UP A BOYFRIEND

[Cut to Jill and Carlos making out]

LEON DISAPPEARED

[Cut to Leon stuck in some strange village]

BRAD GOT KILLED

[A still distraught Nemesis runs up to the band and impales Brad. He then picks up the guitar and starts playing]

CLAIRE WOUND UP IN ANTARCTICA

[cut to Claire stuck in a snow cat with Steve]

STEVE SAVED HER LIFE

[cut to Steve dying heroically]

AND THE MAN THAT I HATE THE MOST

IS STILL ALIVE AND I COULD BE TOAST

[cut to Chris totally freaking out as Wesker appears in front of the band]

HE APPEARED IN CVX

IN MUCH BETTER SHAPE THAN EXPECTED

[cut to Wesker bench pressing a Buick in the HCF parking lot]

BEAT ME DOWN PRETTY BAD

WHILE SCREAMING "WHO'S YOUR DAD!"

[Wesker grabs Chris and starts beating the hell out of him. However Chris is still able to sing.]

HE ESCAPED AND SO DID WE

[cut to see Chris and Claire in the plane. Wesker skipping off to get in his sub.]

I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO KILL THAT GUY…

(Chris/Jill)

OH BYE BYE MR. WESKER GUY

FLEW MY PLANE AWAY

BUT YOU'RE STILL ALIVE

SO NOW I'M DRINKING VODKA AND SINGING

(Jill)

I GOTTA KILL THAT WESKER GUY

I GOTTA KILL THAT WESKER GUY

[Chris, while still singing, grabs a shotgun and chases after Wesker]

(Chris)

AND WE WERE SINGING…

( All the lead characters show up and start singing)

BYE BYE MR. WESKER GUY

WE'LL DRIVE OUR HUMMERS TO THE HCF

AND THE HCF WILL FRY

[Cut to a bad mock up of an HCF installation being blown up]

AND THEN I'LL BE SINGING

(Chris)

THIS IS THE DAY YOU DIE!!

THIS IS THE DAY YOU DIE!!

[Chris shoots Wesker. Well Wesker's stand in anyway. The real Wesker is hitting on Rebecca.]

THIS IS THE DAY YOU DIE…

[Chris bows his head along with the rest of the band, including Nemmy.]

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A/N: This is my first song parody so please let me know how it was!


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